2 Year Anniversary

It was two years ago today that we found out I was pregnant with Adelle. It was a Wednesday, and I hadn't felt good all week. I was in my Block B classes teaching in first grade, and I knew that the next day, Halloween, I was supposed to dress as Woody from Toy Story to be observed by my clinical instructor. I went to class in the morning and went to work from 12:30 -3:30. Then, Jesse got off work at 4 from Wal-Mart. Working in TLE, Jesse had to get cleaned up, but I had already told him that I thought I was pregnant. As he got out of the shower, I took the test. It was supposed to take a couple of minutes to be sure, but it immediately showed a little plus sign, and my eyes welled up with tears. Jesse said, "Look at me. Look at me," but I was like, "Whoa! Look at that!" And I was shaking and crying in disbelief, even though I could feel that it was true. We both cried on the bed that night, thinking our lives were over. Jesse worked at Wal-Mart and I didn't even have insurance. We didn't know what we would do or where we would go when I graduated. We were scared. We prayed together a lot and knew that God's will for us was better than ours, but we went through some rough patches questioning where His will would lead us.

Two years ago on Halloween, we told our families. The following day in first grade I told my cooperating teacher and partner. A couple of weeks later, we told our Lifegroup, and everyone was shocked, but excited and supportive. Two years ago, the message at Christmas time at New Hope was on having hope because of Christ, but I cried through the entire message because I felt hopeless. (Looking back, some of it was probably because of hormone changes, but at the time, I had held onto this idealistic picture of what my life was supposed to look like and having a baby right after graduation just didn't fit.)

I had felt so much stress and anxiety about how my life was going to change, I didn't even consider that my child could bless my life, strengthen our marriage, and grow me in humor, creativity, and humilty. At the time, I had felt crushed, yet I am able to look back and celebrate the anniversary of that day because I never knew:

• the pride of bringing a beautiful, innocent soul into the world
• the fascination and joy I would feel when she learns something new
• the excitement of exploring the world around us together
• the miracle of sharing life with someone whose DNA is half me and half Jesse
• the closeness of nourishing and providing for someone's every need
• the beauty of seeing her unique personality unfold
• the intensity of a mother's love
  

She may have been a surprise, but let the whole world know, Adelle was no accident. She's here to show us all the miracle of creation, the love of the Father, and the heart of a child. And she's here to bring me hope.