Don't Waste Your Life

Our small group just started a video study last night by John Piper: "Don't Waste Your Life." It already has me thinking, in a good way. I feel like so often I question whether I'm really living out God's ultimate purpose for my life. Then, I just get busy with something until I think of it again. Could I be missing out on the best opportunities out there because I chose what seems good or right to me and ask God to bless what I choose, instead of daily pursuing His passions? I know that I am meant for much more than the influence I've had on this world thus far. I'm excited for where this journey may lead, and I'm really scratching my head about today's question, "What are three things you wish to accomplish before you die?" Add to that the fact that I'll be spending plenty of time indoors with two babies soon, and you've got a recipe for some serious introspection.

Marvelous March

This month has been quite the roller-coaster. We closed on our house Tuesday, March 9th. That evening we were at the Emergency Room with Adelle because she'd hit her head on our metal bed frame and woke-up from her nap vomiting. We were there for five hours, holding our very scared little girl while the nurses took her temperature and monitored her, sedated her, and had her get a CTscan. She had to be stirring enough for us to be able to bring her home again, so we watched a lot of HGTV and a show with Marc Summers on how stuff is made. Wednesday and Thursday, Adelle slept forever from her concussion. She was very drowsy and had terrible mood swings where she'd be laughing and suddenly burst into crying and pushing us away. I spent those two days at home with Adelle, trying to get her better and help her to feel spoiled by my care. I felt very weak when I went to bed Thursday night, but it was just Adelle and I and I didn't feel like getting myself anything to eat or drink before going to sleep.

Friday morning, I heard Jesse up in the bathroom, so I popped out of bed and went to see him before he headed to the new house. I immediately felt very, very sick. My hands went clammy and my face grew hot. I was pale and shaky. I felt like I was having a heart attack. I thought of saying, "I'm going to die!" but I didn't want that to be my last words. Then, I thought, "Please pray for me," but that didn't seem like good last words either, so I said, "Just hold me," and passed out. Jesse said my eyes were rolling all around and my head was flopping all over. He said he sat me on my knees first, but I was unconscious, I don't remember that part. I remember coming to and asking him, "Are we on the floor?" And he said that we were. He covered me with towels because I was so cold, and he called the birth center. They said that I'd probably gotten up too quickly, was dehydrated, and needed more protein. This past week, it has taken all my effort to keep drinking constantly and get protein. I am sure with this pregnancy I am going to gain more weight than the last one because I'm not just eating for two, I'm eating to keep myself vertical.

Other than that, things are going well. Jesse's working around the clock to have our new home habitable by the end of the month. God has protected us from so many things that could have been much worse without His help and comfort. We feel blessed beyond measure to have us all healing and healthy for now and a new house that we've entrusted to Him. Oh, and yesterday, I took Adelle in for Easter pictures. I think they show that she's feeling much better for only being a week after her accident!

Pre-appointment pictures

I have my second baby appointment at the birth center today. I still have an hour to wait, so we took some pictures in the light of the open front door. The sun is shining, so that always helps, and Adelle is sporting the elusive and rare pony which is a highlight for me because her bangs are getting pretty long again.

I La Yoooouuuu!......Too!

Adelle's speech has taken off as she's been repeating everything we say. Every morning, she says, "Tiss," (kiss) and plants one on me, "Hug," and gives me a hug, and "I la yooooouuu! .....Too!" can be heard multiple times a day. When people leave our house, she asks for hugs and kisses, and she watches them all the way out to their car. A couple of times she's even said hug and kiss after they were too far gone and given the glass door a kiss and hug in their place. Every night Jesse works, she says, "BYYYE, DA-EEE!" over and over until she sees him pull away. Today she asked, "Tiss, babee?" so she hugged and kissed her baby sister or brother right on my belly-button, the only place she's tried to kiss the baby so far.

Besides talking quite a bit, Adelle has also been honing her "skills of an artist". When I draw a simple smiley face, she adds the nose, hair, and ears. If I add a stick body with a dress on it, she'll add the hands and feet. When I told her Parents as Teachers lady about it, she said that skill isn't usually developed in most 3-year-olds. Besides that, tonight she was able to paint in spirals. I think it was easier for her to paint spirals than draw them because she didn't have to use as much pressure as she turned the brush on the paper.

Offer Accepted!

Yesterday, we made an offer on a home in a cute neighborhood with enough space for our family and a good, solid foundation. Today, our offer was accepted! We feel beyond blessed and excited for this new adventure together.

We're praying

• that the Lord would build our house, even if the deal falls through for some reson and we can't end up getting that one.
• that our home would glorify Him.
• that we would be thankful to Him for everything that we have.
• that our marriage would only be stengthened through the trials of updating and repair work.

If everything goes well, we could be home owners by March 15th! Then, the real work begins... Maybe I'll post pictures of our updating projects. For now, we will just CELEBRATE!

Lately

Lately, there's been some anxiety here. We're looking at buying our first house, and waiting for our tax return to make an offer on the one we like. Add to the wait for the money the wait for the approval from the bank, and we're not sure if this house is going to stay on the market long enough for us. In addition to the wait, there is uncertainty. Uncertainty because it also needs some repairs - $5,200 of immediate repairs listed by the home inspection. And we're not sure if we have to have that money in addition to the downpayment, prepaids & closings, and reserves upfront, or if we can wait to get the tax credit to pay for some of it. That's some of what's been up with us of late.

In other news, we're expecting our second baby around August 22nd, so that's been exciting, exhausting, and everything in between. The great news is, I'm feeling wonderful 95% of the time now, and I got to hear the heartbeat on Tuesday, so its starting to feel more real. The weird news is that my uterus is measuring large, so I don't know what that means and probably won't for a long time.

The comforting news, lately, is that Psalm 18 tells us that God rescues us because He delights in us and He stoops down to make me (us) great. These words are comforting because I know that He loves intimately. He loves me enough to rescue me from buying The Money Pit or from worrying about the size of my uterus. When I seek Him and His truth, He doesn't just rescue me because its His plan or universal goal, He rescues me because He knows every detail about me and knows whats best for me and takes delight in me. Then, He stoops down, like a parent does moment after moment and day after day, to make me great. I can rest, like Adelle right now, because I know His plans are best for me. Whatever's going on with me lately, all I have to do is trust.

How do you measure a year in the life?

Measure in love. Seasons of love.

Merry Christmas!

We enjoyed reading Adelle the Christmas story out of her toddler bible. Then, she opened her Christmas presents, which were her first Cabbage Patch store-bought hair-extensions doll, the "If you give a Mouse a Cookie" stuffed mouse and matching picture book, and a cloth play food set with a hamburger and french fries. She immediately set about running around the house squeezing both the mouse and doll, save for brief pauses to feed them the new food. It was fun to see her excitement.
Today, we were stir-crazy with this blizzard keeping us inside. We put off getting together with Jesse's sister and family, and Jesse's mom came over to give Adelle her beautiful new "Time to Read" rocking chair with an attached bookrack. She loved it, of course. Now, we've got at least one more day of craziness, and then, its back to schedule for that girl. Napping until 6pm and going to bed at 11pm is a little wacky for a 1-and-a-half-year-old. Looking forward to tomorrow with my family and then things getting back to "normal"!
Merry Christmas!

A Year in Review

Here are some of the highlights in the Julian family for 2009:

• We started meeting with our lifegroup


• Jesse went from working at Wal-Mart to working at the Sheriff's Office


• We were on WIC at the end of 2008 and were able to get off after only 2 months
  
• Jesse has been kept safe and healthy for his 14 weeks at the KLETC, FTO, and solo driving


• We found out Adelle's kidney is doing much better than expected and is not expected to cause her any problems


• Adelle was constantly sick with ear-infections and breathing treatments in the spring. Then, she became healthy and has stayed healthy since taking her out of daycare


• Jesse's mom and Alicia's sisters were all baptized
  
• We've gotten to spend time with international students again


• Adelle has gone from just sitting up to running around, reading the words, "cat," "dog," "hi," and "baby." She can say, "I.... loooove..... you you you you you!" And she went the BIG one on the potty today for the first time since she was an infant. She also gets cuddly if you're waking her up, reading to her, watching her show, or putting her to sleep


• This year, we've been blessed to remember how has God carried us through, and we've been able to give more to others
  

Psalm 126:1-3

"When the Lord brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tounges with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, 'The Lord has done great things for them.' The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."

Thanksgiving Birthday Baptism Whimsy

Thursday we celebrated Thanksgiving and my birthday. I was totally spoiled. We had three family gatherings, two full thanksgiving meals, and one birthday cake. Adelle had a little cold, but she maintained her high level of excitement and energy throughout the entire day. We started out at my parents, after cleaning our house, at about 11:30, where we had a big lunch and played Cranium while watching an alien movie. I could really tell that my sisters are growing in their walks with God because of their attitudes. There weren't any hurtful or sarcastic comments made the entire time we were there! The old has gone, the new has come! YAY! It was absolutely perfect.

Then, we went to Jesse's aunt, Cindy,'s house in Auburn. I had a piece of icebox cake, and we talked to Jesse's cousins, Sarah and Melissa, while Adelle and Bailee played with a doll house. Last, we came back to our house for another Thanksgiving meal with Jesse's mom, sister, brother-in-law, neice, and friend, Pam. They "surprised" me by walking in singing, "Happy Birthday," with a fiery cake. 24 was a lot of candles. I had to take three breaths to get them all blown out. Toni gave me a beautiful necklace, and Jesse's family's generosity and laughter was the "icing on the cake" of a wonderful day.

This Sunday Miranda was baptized by Hannah after attending a conference last weekend in Manhattan. It was pretty sweet to see her get dunked by her older sister, and it was awesome to see them write that it was their favorite and second favorite days ever on facebook. I even had a substitute for the Kindergarten class who said they wouldn't mind doing it again! Hallelujah! God works everything out for the good of those who love Him. Let's be thankful! He's done so many great things in my life recently, its easy to start to tune Him out. I gotta keep laying down these idols and striving toward thankfulness!

Radiance from desperation

I've been going through a read-through-the-bible-in-a-year plan this month. I've tried it several times in the past, but never stuck with it. What eventually happens is that I skip reading for a day and try to catch up the next day but don't and get overwhelmed and stop it all together. Anyway, this time around is pretty sweet. I read a chapter or two in the Old Testament, a Psalm or Proverb, and a chapter or two in the New Testament.

Today I read some Ezekiel, Psalm 119, and some Ephesians. The stuff in Ezekiel 16 was pretty eye-opening. Basically, its an analogy comparing Unfaithful Jerusalem to a prostitute. Jerusalem is born of pagan parents, not washed and cleaned, nor wrapped in cloths. Rather, like a baby thrown into the field, Jerusalem was despised and desperate.

It gets worse. God passes by and sees Baby Jerusalem lying in its own blood and says, "Live," and Jerusalem becomes beautiful and matures. Later, God covers Jerusalem's shame and marries her. He washes and clothes and heals her. He even adorns her with beautiful jewelery and feeds her the best possible foods. She rises to become a queen and becomes famous for the splendor and perfect beauty given to her by God.

Then, Jerusalem trusts in her own beauty, rather than the redeemer who gave it to her, and she becomes a prostitute to many. She makes idols out of her fine jewelery. She puts her fine clothes on the idols and sacrifices her food to the idols. She even takes the children she bore to God and sacrifices them to these idols, all the while forgetting from what she'd been brought. After all this, still God says"Yet I will remember the covenant I made with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish an everlasting covenant with you .... Then, when I make atonement for you for all you have done, you will remember and be ashamed and never again open your mouth because of your humiliation."

Then, Ephesians 5:25-27 says,"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."

Wow! What a God! He who made us and brought us into life desperate and pitiful, who chooses us to be His beloved, who gives us to the consequences of our actions so that we'll remember His affections, the God who sees our idolatry over and over, He watches as we give over all the splendors He has bestowed on us. Our purity, our beauty, our jewelery, our food, our children, and our marriages we are willing to sacrifice before our idols. Its making me think about what could be drawing me away from Him today. What's my idol? Is it a house? Is it a car? Is it a status? Or is it a fear of the future, not trusting in Him?

Whatever it is, He gave himself up for us so that we don't have to keep living in desperation, growing farther from Him. He sees that we're sacrificing His blessings to idols, and He takes us, prostitutes, and cleans us with His perfect life to be His radiant bride in an everlasting covenant. I'll trade writhing in misery for becoming a holy and blameless bride. When I let go of my idols, my plans, my will, you'll find me, Radiant.

Sale

Today I found some great deals at Target. I decided to give myself the rule of only buying things that were on sale. I made one exception: there were some play pants for $4 regular price for Adelle, so I went ahead and got those. I got 5 things for under $40. I bought myself a blue sweater for $10 and a little black dress for $15. In addition to the play pants, I found Adelle two seasonal dresses on sale for $3.27 each. I came home not feeling guilty about any of it because they were all things that we needed, and since we didn't wait until the last minute, we didn't overspend. If you have small girls on your shopping list, Target is the place to go.

Reading Rainbow

Butterfly in the sky,

I can go twice as high,

Take a look. Its in a book-

Reading Rainbow.

I can go anywhere.

Friends to know and ways to grow,

Reading Rainbow.

I can be anything.

Take a look. Its in a book-

Reading Rainbow.

Reading Rainbow...

Adelle can now read the words, "cat," "dog," and "hi" every time she sees them without any mistakes. This is a plug for Your Baby Can Read. She's 16 months old. When I asked a 4-year-old to identify the same words, she just said, "I don't know," and that's typical, I'm sure. We recieved the Your Baby Can Read program as a gift from my grandma, but you can do the same thing by making flashcards and reading with your child. I just found out from a MOPS speaker that a mother can increase a child's brain size up to 20% by interacting with them, and that a child's brain is 90% formed by the age of 5. I think Adelle will be passing me up in intelligence by the age of 10, but maybe she will have an easier time in life and school because of the time we're spending teaching her to read now.

A Sister!

Today Jesse made contact with his older sister, Melissa, for the first time in his life. They emailed each other tonight and made plans to talk on the phone tomorrow! Its so exciting. I hope I get to meet her. She's 32 and works at a hospital, and she has a five-year-old son. I think its extra special that they're meeting close to Thanksgiving. We're always thankful for family. This year we're extra thankful for a new sister and the ability to get to know her!

Our Little Cat

Floor time with Daddy - can't get enough kisses!

Don't have time to stop for pictures!

Our little cat likes to close the bedroom door and say, "Raheeeew. Raheeeew," in the sqeakiest little cat voice possible. Then she opens the door and says, "Cat!" and points to a hidden little cat just out of our view.

She also sings, "Rock-a-bye, Baby," to little shells of pasta and gives them kisses.

And tonight during Smallville, she made a game of saying,"Bye," and shutting the bedroom door, only to open it and come over to us on the couch for a welcome-back hug and kiss. She did it about 3,297 times, but if I had the choice, I'd let her do it all over again. Those unsolicited hugs and kisses are priceless!

Tonight we read the Mo Willems book, "Are You Ready to Play Outside," and I retold my version of the Three Little Pigs. She cracked up through both senarios. I think this means she's crossed line into understanding jokes now. She could tell by my voice and expressions what was happening throughout the Three Little Pigs, and she could tell from the cartoons in the book that it was meant to be funny. And she showed that she thought it was funny so much, we read it twice. After reading, she fell asleep quickly in her bed without fighting.

And she had her first set of pigtails last night. And I'm remided of what a gracious God we have. He would be gracious to give us anything at all, and here we have this abundant life, full of mystery and laughter and growing pains and purpose. Not that we've done anything to deserve it. All because of what He's done for us.

Thankful

I am thankful today. Adelle slept all night in her own bed without waking us up. She's still there. More than that, yesterday she peed (1x) in the potty, fed herself at every meal, and danced during play group. Also, she's pretending now. And its way fun. If I say,"Uh-oh, Adelle, your mom is being a dog," she gets barky and runs and chases and pants with her mouth wide open. She knows so many words now. If we ask her something she doesn't feel like answering, she looks down and sideways like, "I can't belive you don't know..." Yesterday, we ran around the yard with the kite. She chased the tail and let me take her picture while Daddy cleaned his gun.

Speaking of Daddy, he couldn't be any better. Yesterday was his day off. He got up early to make us pancakes. Then, he joined us for her playgroup for 0-3 year olds at Parents as Teachers (a huge step for any man, I'm sure), and he had fun there. Afterward, we went shopping for groceries. Then, we had lunch, and he went shooting for a short time. After he cleaned his gun, I'd put Adelle to bed and he asked if Ineeded anything like to get out for awhile. I told him I'd like to go lie down. So, while I slept, he made dinner and did the dishes. He was asleep when I woke up to Adelle crying. When I went to get him for dinner, he said, "I'm sorry you got up so early." I said, " What are you talking about?" He said,"Its 6:30 am." Poor guy! He's all mixed-up with his work schedule, yet he's still selflessly serving his family.

Now I hold a sleeping Adelle in my arms and wish she'd stay this size forever. Almost. The best I can do is relish these precious few minutes and be thankful for this beautiful moment.

how He loves us

animal crakers

"Dog!"

I even adore her sideways glances.

Livia and Catherine

Egg and tomato soup, pork with green pepper, Coke chicken, and sugared cucumber - delish!

We had our friends over last night, and Catherine fixed up some amazing authentic Chinese. The other pictures are from this morning. In other news, Adelle is learning how to push my buttons. She has been running away when we tell her to give us something and throwing herself on the floor when we say stop. Its a little bit of a heartbreak because we feel like we do so much to ensure that she's good, lovely, happy, and gentle. She still is, most of the time. My iniquities in parenting a toddler cause me to cling to the truth in the words of this song tonight:

He is jealous for me. Love's like a hurricane. I am a tree, bending benaeth the weight of His wind and mercy. When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions ecclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me.

Oh how He loves us so

Oh how He loves us

Oh how He loves us

Oh how He loves.

So we are His portion and He is our prize, drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes. If grace is an ocean, we are sinking, so heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest, and I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way that

He loves us

Oh how He loves us

Oh how He loves us

Oh how He loves.

~John Mark McMillan

Lexi

Tonight we committed to sponsor a little girl named Lexi in China at An Orphan's Wish. She has spina bifida and clubfeet, so she is recieving treatment there before being placed in foster care and hopefully adopted. Because they need to place her in foster care to make room for another child with clubfeet, the sponsorship will most likely only last 6-9 months. She'll have a series of casts placed on her legs. Then, she'll have to wear braces on them. I'm praying that she'll be able to walk. The coordinator told me her outcome would be uncertain because of the spina bifida, but they need to correct the clubfeet to be able to determine the extent of the spina bifida. She's two years old, and I can't wait for the updates on her progress! Just look at that sweet little face!

Happy Halloween!

Last week dressed for church

After the Halloween festivities

Swinging with Cousin Brianna

The little chicken's conscience is asking, "Would your mom want you to cross the road?" She's thinking it over...